“The time has come”, the walrus said, “to talk of many things.”
Specifically, Ideas.
Many of my fans ask me “where do you get your ideas?” At least I assume they would if I had actual fans, or people who bought my book who were not family or friends I guilted into buying it. For the sake of argument, let’s assume that there is someone out there who bought the book who doesn’t actually know me and for some reason likes it. I imaging, if I were to meet them, they might ask me, “Hey, where do you get your ideas from?”
The answer of course is Hoboken, New Jersey. There is a little shop there called Ideas For The Ages and it has a huge selection of plotlines for different genres, age groups and tastes. You just walk in and browse the shelves, looking for ideas for your next book. All the greats shop there. Stephen King shops in the “600-Page-Book-With-A-300-Page-Plot” section, Clive Barker shops in the “Wish-I-Had-Stephen-Kings-Money” section, and Tom Clancy shops in the “Things-That-Go-Boom” section.
I’ll never forget that fateful day. I was standing in line with this one plot idea I wanted to purchase. It was the only one I could find that day that Orlando Bloom didn’t read and say “if you’re gonna make a movie about that, can I be in it?” It was funny to watch the other authors there hide behind shelves or pretend to be on the cell phone just to avoid making eye contact with Orlando. But I digress. I was next in line and I remember reading the plot line over and over. It said:
This is a seven book series about a boy who gets invited to a school of magic where he tells the truth, warns everyone about some evil, is proven right again and again but by the seventh book, still no one will believe him or anything he says. There is also a basket ball game played while flying. Enjoy and Good Luck
The more I read it the more it sounded stupid so I traded it to some out of work British lady for her Too Many Kitties idea and here we are. I wonder what ever happened to her.
Anywho, now you know where we all get our ideas from. It’s not that big a secret as the store is listed in the New Jersey Yellow Pages. If you are an aspiring writer, go check it out but watch out for Orlando, he is really annoying!
Good day little ones.
“The time has come”, the walrus said, “to talk of many things.”
Specifically, writers block.
That’s right little ones. I have a bad case of writers block. It is not because I am out of ideas. I have a great story I am in the middle of. I have the beginning and I have a great ending. The middle seems to be missing at the moment. That blank space stares at me, mocking me, daring me to make a word or sentence. When I do it comes out like this:
Boy.
Boy has sword.
Sees other boy with sword.
Fight boy, fight.
Boy fight.
Boy win.
The End.
Not really a gripping story. Who is the boy? Why does he have a sword? Who is the other boy? Were they friends? Although, I suppose the sequel practically writes itself.
BOY, PART 2: RETURN OF BOY
Oh well. This story will just have to wait until such time as this block is removed. Until then, let me leave you with these wise words
Grunt Grunt Point.
Good day little ones.
“The time has come”, the walrus said, “to talk of many things.”
Specifically, Aerodynamics.
That’s right little ones, summer is soon upon us and with it comes dreams of vacations. Whenever we go to the Outer Banks of North Carolina we always make sure to stop in at Kitty Hawk Kites. If you have never been, you MUST go. Their main location is directly across from Jockey Ridge and it is a two story wonderland of kites and toys. They have all kinds of kites from the simple regular kite shaped kites to the complex box kites or WWII biplane and triplane designs.
A few years back I bought a parafoil kite from there. A parafoil kite has no frame. It is made of a space-age fabric that is almost completely resistant to tearing. It is a beginner kite. It is 20 inches wide by 32 inches long and can be flown in wind as light as 6 miles per hour. It is very lightweight and can be rolled up and stuffed into it’s nylon carrying case. It is colored in hues of bright orange, red, green and blue and it came with a beautiful, multicolored, multiribboned, 15 foot tail. The image of this beautifully colored kite and its massive flapping tail framed against the backdrop of a clear blue sky is a sight to behold. Or so I’m told. The only time I recall being able to get this stupid thing to fly was during Hurricane Dennis.
On the other hand, my 120 pound, 13 foot trampoline will soar to the skies on wings of eagles every chance it gets. Rebuilding after our last flying trampoline encounter (see post below) we tied it to a tree. Unfortunately, we needed the rope for something and forgot to replace it. Recently the winds came again and my wife asked me to go out at 11:30 at night and check the trampoline. Seeing that it was no longer tied up and not knowing where the rope actually was, I grabbed a few electrical extension cords and tied it to the side of the playhouse. The next morning we found the trampoline upside down in front of the playhouse, the net enclosure frame bent and the base in its all too familiar Pringles potato chip shape. It now sits in pieces in the backyard and my Saturday will consist, at some point, of me putting it back together again. On the plus side, I have actually gotten good at that so it should go fast.
So little ones, if you are walking the beaches of the Outer Banks this summer and notice in the sky a beautiful, multicolored, multiribboned, 15 foot tail attached to what looks like a 13 foot trampoline, that will be me. Come by and say Hi.
“The time has come”, the walrus said, “to talk of many things.”
Specifically, catching up.
That’s right little ones; I am behind in my blogging. So here are the last few days/weeks in a nutshell.
Peter Pan
Daniel Boone Middle School’s production of Peter Pan was fantastic. The sets were great (especially the pirate ship…mine!) the acting was actually quite good and so was the singing. There was one standout actress on the Friday night we went and that was the young gal who played Smee. She stole every scene she was in! She could be a great comedic actress if she keeps this up.
Easter Sunday
Easter Sunday is usually a time of Religious services, eating the ears off large chocolate bunnies, Easter egg hunts etc. However, at our house Easter took on a whole new meaning……a blood-soaked killing frenzy…only there was no blood and no one actually died. It was nice out so instead of our kids begging us to go outside for Easter egg hunts we went outside and played Nurf dart tag. Nothing says Easter like running around with Nurf dart guns yelling “Die Evil Scum!!”
Chaplins
On Wednesday we discovered Chaplins – The Music Café in Spring City, PA which can be reached at: http://www.chaplinsthemusiccafe.com/ This place was awesome. Great jam session by Petr et. al. This will definitely become our regular Wednesday night hangout when we can make it.
I would like to conclude with a little discussion about apathy. You see little ones….oh, never mind.
Specifically, UFO’s.
Here is a riddle for you little ones, what is 13 feet round, weighs about 100 pounds and flies? If you said a trampoline, you are correct. Apparently, trampolines can fly. Who knew!
Recently, my portion of PA has seen heavy winds. My family and I arrived back at our house and as we pulled up the driveway I noticed something big, bright blue and bouncy was missing from its normal place in the back yard. Having only recently acquired this at Christmas, I was somewhat surprised to see it gone. We found it in pieces, tied up to the porch in the front yard. My wife’s parents were home at the time and saw it go. Apparently the conversation they had went something like this:
Nana: I think the trampoline is going to fly away
Pop-pop: No it’s not
Nana: I think it is
Pop-pop: No, it’s not.
Nana: It sure looks like it is
Pop-pop: No, it fin…ahhhhh
Nana: GET IT! GET IT!!!
The wind lifted it up and sent it on its way. Pop-pop was able to grab it before it went into the road.
“Honest officer, one minute I am driving along the road and then next this big blue flying saucer attacked my car and then flew into the woods. I just knew they wanted to probe me.”
The next morning we surveyed the damage. The perfectly round base now looked like a 13 foot Pringle chip. A few poles were bent and the net was tangled. We tried to fix the base but it was really twisted. I looked at all the springs that held it together. It took me hours to get them all on and now I was going to have to take them all off. We were able to bend the poles back straight, remove all the springs, return the base to its non-salty-snack-food shape and put the springs back on. We tied it to a tree for now. Hopefully the kids won’t clothesline themselves running around it.
“Can’t catch me!!! Can’t catch me!!! Can’t catch GLAK!”
You know, maybe this trampoline story is a metaphor for life. Maybe when the winds of change are blowing, things we think are secure can be blown about and bent out of shape. Maybe the things we usually do not worry about are suddenly not there. We have a choice at that point. Do we give up? Do we throw up our hands and say “Oh well” and never bounce again? Or do we rebuild it, repair it and use it again. Maybe make it stronger, more secure than it was last time. Maybe we straighten those parts of our lives that were bent and go back to bouncing as high as we can, laughing out loud for all to hear, just for the fun of it.
Or maybe it is just a stupid trampoline story.
Good day little ones.
